1. When you need to take breaks and recharge after socializing for too long.
This is so true. It’s like on those fighting video games where the fighters have that life bar and the more you get your butt kicked, the more the bar loses its filler. It’s like I start each day with a video game life bar. Only, there are certain things that will take it away faster than others and sometimes I can even find things to charge it back up again. For example, I walk into a bar full of people. Actually, the anticipation of walking into a bar full of people takes the first chunk out of my life bar. Then, when I actually get there I’m already down to about half. Keep in mind that I am not taking my social anxiety into account here. This is if I am with a good friend or with my husband (which is like a security blanket) so it takes the pressure off. Okay, so I’m at half life bar now. I’m not a big drinker but if I have a drink or two that can add to my life bar. You know what they say about liquid courage. Then I just like to sit, watch and listen. I like things like karaoke, bars that have a small dance floor and places that singles frequent. I’m an avid people watcher. It’s like watching a television program. I will find certain subjects and watch them throughout the night, hoping they don’t catch me. I’m not interested in you like that, Subject. Eventually, especially if I am around people who are getting drunk, I will tap out, tab out and leave. Drunk people annoy me more than interest me. I find sloppy drunks to be unintelligent and irresponsible. Mild drunks can be entertaining, but there’s a line. Anyway, sometimes I will just leave, most of the time I will say my good byes. So if we are you somewhere and you see me getting a little antsy to leave, now you know why. I need to go home and recharge my life bar. As soon as I get into my vehicle, I start to recharge.
2. When people mistake your thoughtful look for resting bitch face.
I do get in the zone while I’m observing people or just thinking. I don’t have happy girl features anyway so when I’m not smiling, I look angry. I don’t try to look angry. Don’t assume that I am angry.
3. When your friend wants to invite more people over, and you don’t want to sound like a dick by saying no.
If I am already at my limit for company and someone wants more people over, I will most likely lose my head. It takes preparation for me to go to parties, have get-togethers, go out, etc. I am not a last minute person. This is partially due to my social anxiety. Sometimes the anxiety will kick in if I feel like there are too many strangers around me. (I am talking about a party at someone’s house, not a public place) If the surroundings are intimate (small place, nowhere to sit alone) I get even more anxious and withdrawn.
4. When spending a heavenly weekend alone means that you’re missing out on time with friends.
I get this sometimes from people. I don’t want anyone taking it personal. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you. I prefer my own company. I LOVE peace and quiet. Last Thanksgiving, I had to work through the weekend and so did my eldest daughter. My husband and younger daughter went to Arkansas to ride four wheelers. On Thanksgiving day, my eldest decided to spend the day with her boyfriend. I had the entire day at home by myself. I believe Jack in the Box was my Thanksgiving dinner. It was awesome.
5. And the fear that by doing so, you’re slowly turning into a hermit…
I don’t worry about this. I am married with kids. However, if I were alone, I would probably remain that way. Maybe I’d have a cat.
6. Who will likely die alone.
See number 5.
7. Having visitors stay with you is a nightmare, because it means you have to be on at ALL TIMES.
Ah yes. Company. I’m going through this right now. I had a total hysterectomy two weeks ago and then about 5 days ago, my husband fell asleep at the wheel causing a spectacular gymnastic floor show in his car. He survived. The car did not. However, Cody (husband) got all the bumps, bruises and ouchies that you get when your car somersaults and he also got a lovely gash in his knee that required 25 stitches. So after driving to the accident site to handle things there (no driving said the dr) and then sitting in a hard chair in the ER for 4.5 hours (be comfortable said the dr) and then picking up prescriptions and carrying his belongings (no lifting anything said the dr) we both end up at the casa to be invalids together. Now, Cody is an extrovert. So, his friends call him and he is like, “Yeah. Come over anytime.” Meanwhile, I’m all on the couch in sweats, hair unwashed in a messy bun, no makeup shooting him death rays with my eyes. You’d think after a gazillion years of marriage he would get this by now. I just set everything up so I can make a quick escape if necessary. I can’t be “on” if I am not comfortable. And I don’t mean couch and sweats comfortable. I mean that I need to wash my hair, powder my nose and have at least one coat of mascara on to feel like I can face people. Also, I need to have a clean house. I get a lot of crap for this. I DO NOT like unexpected visitors because I have to have that preparation time. (once again I need to explain that while the unexpected company bothers me because I am an introvert, the need for a spotless house is part of my anxiety)
8. When people stop inviting you places because you keep canceling plans.
This happens often. Nothing I can do about it. Honestly, I don’t really care. I can’t imagine this bothering me right now. I mean, if I’m going to cancel plans every time you ask me out then shouldn’t I expect for you to stop inviting me? Big events like weddings and the like I can be prepared for. Therefore, I usually attend.
9. Too many social obligations + no alone time = a total grump.
Remember what I wrote about the life bar? You don’t want to be around me when it runs out.
10. When you’re asked to do a group project, and know that you’re going to hate every minute of it.
I can actually work in a group pretty well, but I am a take charge kind of person. I am a stickler for rules and I usually end up doing most if not the entire project myself. I guess I take back that first line about working in a group pretty well.
11. When your ride at a party doesn’t want to leave early and no one seems to understand your distress.
This is not something I have to fret about much. I typically am the driver. In fact, I prefer to drive myself and I don’t even like being the DD because when I want to leave, I want to leave. But, there have been times that I have been with Cody and he is just having a grand ol’ time and I am fuming because I ran out of life juice like a half an hour ago…
12. When you hear this question, and your palms start to sweat with anxiety. “Do you want to hang out?”
This question no longer bothers me. I am very open about my personality.
13. When you hear, “Are you OK?” or “Why are you so quiet?” for the umpteenth time.
Even though I am open about my personality, it doesn’t mean I don’t have to constantly answer this question.
14. Trying to be extra outgoing when you flirt so your crush doesn’t think you hate them.
This doesn’t apply to me, so….
15. That feeling of dread that washes over you when the phone rings and you’re not mentally prepared to chat.
Yup. I’m a texter. If we have actually spoken on the phone, consider yourself lucky.
16. When you have to deal with that one friend who ALWAYS wants to hang out, and you ALWAYS have to say this: “I kind of want to spend some time by myself.”
I only have to deal with this with Cody. But I give him a lot of freedom. I know he needs his time with others the way I need my time alone.
17. When you have an awesome night out, but have to deal with feeling exhausted for days after the fact.
Sometimes it does take a few days to recharge.
18. When people pressure you to be more social, whether you like it or not.
Do not, I repeat, do NOT force me to do anything. If you announce my birthday at a restaurant, I may stab you. If you make me get in your group photo, I may hurt you. I hate attention and I really hate cameras. I actually had a little breakdown at my brother-in-law’s wedding when the photographer kept pointing that contraption toward me. I had to go outside to breath. Once again, though, this was partially due to my social anxiety. I had already spent all my life juice and the anxiety set in after that. Just in case you are wondering at this point, no, I do not take medication for my anxiety. I don’t feel I am “bad” enough to need daily/hourly meds. Once one knows the things that trigger one's anxiety, one can usually handle it.
19. When you’re really excited to go out, but those good feelings don’t last long enough.
This happens when something is coming up that I am mentally prepared for but then I start to think about things that might bother me. Bluntly, I psych myself out and end up with half the life juice necessary to get through the entire function, whatever it may be. This is something I am going through right now as well. There is a wedding coming up and the bride has texted/emailed several times asking if I'm sure I am going to be ready, able, etc. I finally told her that she should probably go ahead an replace me at this point because I can't see the future. Frankly, pressuring me pushes me. Especially that I had NO idea what kind of recovery to expect after the hysterectomy.
20. When you’re trying to get something done at work, but you can’t, because everyone else is talking.
As a hair stylist, I need it loud, otherwise it is uncomfortable. I bet that doesn’t make sense to you at all. I will talk your ear off if you’re my client. But once I leave my salon, do not talk to me. I just used up about two days’ worth of life juice. Must. Recharge.
21. When someone calls you out for daydreaming too much.
No one has ever done this. Usually, it’s just, “What’s wrong with you?”
22. When you carry a book to a public place so no one will bug you, but other people take that as a conversation starter.
I do not leave my house without my Kindle Fire. You can’t see what I’m doing but people will ask me if I like it, how it compares to a tablet, etc.
23. When people make you feel weird for wanting to do things by yourself.
I don’t think anyone has made me feel anything about wanting to be alone. In fact, when I tell people about my heavenly Thanksgiving, I am usually surprised at the number of folks that are envious and wish they could have done the same thing.
24. When someone interrupts your thoughts, and you get irrationally angry.
I don’t get irrationally angry at people interrupting my thoughts. I get irrationally angry at bad drivers, sloppy drunks, and parents of bad children.
25. When people can’t seem to grasp that being in small groups is where you excel the most.
Nope. I already answered this. I excel the most ALONE.
26. And when you need to be completely alone so you can recharge and get back to being awesome.
Isn’t this what I’ve been saying all along?
27. Because even though introverts are misunderstood constantly, you know this to be true:
I am going to add this little message down here as an update. There are certain people in my life who REFUSE to even begin to understand my quirks. They actually get mad at me that I want them to call first before showing up at my house. They have said really rude things about having to walk on egg shells around me. This isn't true, by the way. No one has to walk on egg shells around me. I'm not a time bomb. If you step on my house rules I'm not going to like you very much. That's all there is to that. This is my house. If I were to go to your house, which I would NEVER do uninvited, I would follow your rules. If I didn't like your rules, I wouldn't go. Plain and simple.
