50 Shades of Play

First let me start by saying that I am not a good sport. I don't like it when people play tricks on me. Especially cruel jokes. Not funny to me.

Today around noon the phone at work rings. "Thank you for choosing Procuts, this is Toni."

Her: Toni, this is Anne. How are you?

Me: Great, how are you? (which Anne???)

Her: So, I've finally decided to do it.
*silence*

Me: You've decided to cut off your hair? (reaching)

Her: Yes!

Then she tells me that it's her husband's birthday and she wanted to do something nice for him but that this morning he was called in to work. She says she was thinking that for his birthday she would let him choose her haircut. So I was like, "Oh. That's nice. What do you think he'd have in mind?" She tells me that she is going to have him call me and tell me exactly what to do and it would be a surprise to her. So, VERY soon after that call I get a call from HIM. He says his name is Michael and he just got an intriguing text from his wife. Now, the first alarms go off. That was too fast. Anyway, he starts telling me that since she quit her job and stays home now she has become, well, different. Then he tells me, "Let's just say I want to write that author of those 50 shades books and thank him." I said, "Actually, it's a woman but okay." So now I'm feeling a little dirty...kind of uncomfortable...

He tells me that have something secret that they call Purple Tuesday. o_O
He wants me to give her a high and tight. Bald fade. Three on the top.
I wasn't even able to keep my fake customer service smile at that point. I just said, "oooookaaaay."

He says things like how exciting this is that she submits to him and I told him that I would never shave my head for a man so, yeah, that was pretty admirable. (read CRAZY)

Then he keeps talking and I start to zone. By this point I'm pretty convinced it's a joke but I can't figure out why or who. I get off the phone with him and about 2 minutes later SHE calls me back. She asks, "Am I going to be bald, Toni?" I said, "No. Just short." She says, "He told you about purple tuesday, didn't he?" I said, "Um, yeah."

"Shall I call you mistress or ma'am?"
"Just TONI will be fine."

This was pretty much the end of it. However, we do have caller ID at Procuts and I got their numbers.
FEMALE: 972-963-2323
MALE: 972-855-9696 (landline??)
(I hid the numbers. It's been long enough. lol)

So, if everyone wants to call and read a sentence out of 50 shade of grey that would be great. ;)

Edit: Here's a good one!